Stopping the Tornado

It is an absolute miracle our marriage survived the first month of our marriage, let alone 15 years. 

The first two years of our marriage were full of ups and downs. The tornado inside of me raged. Finally, when I was ready to trust God, He was ready to stop the tornado. 

One day while I was praying, the Holy Spirit showed me a picture of myself in my imagination. I was in a cold, dark cave. I was alone. I was hungry. But I was safe. No one could hurt me. But I was dying. 

I saw Jesus walk in front of the opening of the cave. He stopped and reached His hand to me. He was beckoning me to trust Him and come out. I hesitated. I said no. I retreated further back into the cave. But He didn't leave. He stayed at the opening. He didn't come into my cave. But I wasn't alone. He beckoned again. He wanted me to take His hand. I reached out and took it. But then I retracted and retreated. Could I really trust Him?

Finally, I sensed that I could trust Him. I decided to put my hand in His. I chose to allow Him to guide me out of the cave I was in. I chose to make Him my fortress. I chose to allow Him to protect me. 

I chose to trust Christ more than the Bipolar Disorder. I chose to trust Christ more than my past hurts and pain. I chose to trust Christ more than all I had ever known. 

It was at that moment that the tornado stopped. Now I had to learn how to live without the tornado. 

I was delivered from the Bipolar Disorder and have never dealt with the highs or lows of the disease again. It is documented that I am not Bipolar now. And the disorder does not just "go away." I know that it was God who healed my mind. I know that it was His hand that stopped the tornado inside of me.