Living Inside a Tornado

I was a tornado of emotions. 

Sure teenagers all go through emotional dramas. Its the part of the brain that is developing. But my emotions were damaging. 

I began to show highs and lows. I began to attempt suicide. I ran from one boyfriend to another. I always pushed the line to see what I could get away with. 

Most days I didn't remember which way was up or which way was down. 

I was angry. I was bitter. I was lonely. I was depressed. I was hopeless. I was twirling like a tornado. I was becoming codependent on the boys I was dating.

My mom began to see tendencies in me that she had in herself. She took me to the psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with the same Bipolar Disorder as my mom, my grandfather, my aunt, my cousins, and my great-grandparents. It was my lot in life. I was going to have to deal with it for the rest of my life. 

Now I had even more of an excuse to live however I wanted to. I wanted to die. I wanted to escape my life. I gave up. As a teenager, I merely survived each day.